Has Benching Become Common with Filipinas? | Filipino Dating

Discover new dating terms before getting into a relationship with beautiful Filipinas. | Photo by Don Delfin Almonte on Unsplash

The Philippines is home to many beautiful Filipinas. If you ever think about meeting these ladies, exploring the country is one way to go. The international dating world is constantly changing, so if you wish to learn more about the women you want to date, you might as well start with basic facts about Filipino culture.

Countless dating trends keep popping up from time to time. In fact, some of them are not always good ones. In order to keep up with these new generation terms, it wouldn’t hurt to learn more about them.

Benching - not exactly a new dating trend for 2020, but what does it mean? If you're a sports fan, you might have an idea, but for those who aren’t, let us explain. Just like the sports analogy, benching refers to backup players for those who are in the first string of the roster.

When the best-of-the-best gets injured, a backup player acts as a substitute. If we apply this to dating, it means you are acting as a backup for someone whom a woman initially wanted to be with.

Now, why are we introducing this? What is the significance of benching in modern dating?

A lot of men have been questioning if benching has become common with Filipinas. We don’t know for sure, and yes, it gives a bad connotation, but we can give you advice on how to know if you’ve been benched.

Here are some examples:

1. She manages the relationship on her own terms.

She establishes boundaries in your relationship, but they may not always be healthy ones. You will be able to tell if she’s not fully committed because she doesn’t want to be seen with you in public, and she doesn't even post pictures of you together on social media.

She isn’t emotionally invested in your relationship and doesn’t introduce you to her close friends. Now that's a clear cut sign.

2. She doesn’t discuss exclusivity.

This is a huge red flag when it comes to dating. You are looking for a long term relationship, and you are willing to commit, so why are you even together? She makes a lot of excuses just to avoid this topic. There is no status or label, just two friends going out for some casual fun.

3. There’s no physical intimacy.

Physical intimacy is a sacred bond between two lovers. Getting intimate is one way of showing sincerity towards a relationship. Don’t get us wrong, there are many conservative Filipinas who are not into this kind of thing until after they're married, so respect that.

There are other forms of physical affection you can do to show your love, like holding hands or going on vacation together. If she insists on having her personal space after all this time, consider yourself BENCHED.

4. She is always distracted.

When she is always distracted around you, that means that she is not interested. She’d rather be somewhere else than be with you. Distraction is a sign that she is not comfortable with you, but why now? You’ve been together for a while. Typically, this indicates that you are an option, not someone she’s in love with.

5. She has no free time.

Finding time for each other signifies the love you have for one another, so you have to make sure you get to spend quality time together. Yet you are always shut down on every invitation because she’s not available. Ouch!

6. She is always stuck on social media.

One of the clear-cut signs that you are acting as a backup is when you have a lot of other male competitors. As bad as it sounds, she is talking to multiple people besides you on social media, or worse, she is still active on a certain dating app.

7. She doesn’t share things with you.

Sounds about right. Her whole being is a complete mystery to you. She may be an alien from another planet, and you wouldn’t know because she doesn’t share anything for you to know her better. Aside from it being funny, it is kind of true, she is being distant. She may want your attention, but not you.

8. She doesn’t want you to move on.

The funny thing about this is that even though she knows you're just a backup, she doesn’t want you to move on. Why? She will lose her safety net if you go, and things might not work out well with her hunt for other guys. What’s worse than being a backup is when you’re just there for assurance.

It stings, like being in an interview with a really good resume and set of qualifications, but they are NOT GOING TO HIRE YOU ANYWAY. They are going to hire someone who is far less qualified and ask if it's okay to call you every once in a while to complain about the guy they hired.

9. She always backs out on plans.

Whenever you have plans to go somewhere, there are always last-minute cancellations. There are a lot of accidents, emergencies, or whatever excuses she can come up with. Her mothership may be coming to pick her up for all you know.

10. Dating her is expensive.

Gold digging? No, the term is too harsh. Let’s just call it cow milking for a more appropriate connotation. She always wants something from you, and expects you to always pay for every date. She doesn’t pitch in, and instead of building good physical and emotional connections, she focuses on what she can squeeze out of your relationship, hence the term cow milking.

11. She doesn't remember anything.

If a woman is not emotionally invested, the spot on the floor has a higher chance of being remembered. She doesn’t listen because she doesn’t really care about what is going on with your life. She only wants the physical you to be beside her, not the emotional part.

12. There is too much drama when you confront her.

When you confront her, it’s always your fault for not seeing all she has done for your relationship. If you really didn’t, that’s another story, but the point is that she will guilt you into staying committed to her. She wants to string you in for as long as possible so you can be her backup plan.

Important Facts to Consider

True, Filipino people may be opportunistic, and they can have as many backups as they want. However, Filipinas who are invested in finding true love can never do these horrible things. If you are searching for the love of your life, why don’t you try utilizing matchmaking services? That way, we can guarantee that you will be matched with someone who is as invested in finding love as you are.